


Eventually.

by poesflygirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker is a Little Shit, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Mutual Pining, Padawan!Reader, even though i really didn't, me vs fucking up timelines and shit, so i calculated the age difference and it's literally just three years, what the fuck do i put here anyway man, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26106007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poesflygirl/pseuds/poesflygirl
Summary: You’re leaving for your first solo mission and are terrified of what’s to come, so Obi-Wan comforts you before you leave. But the only thing you can think about while he does so is losing him.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader - Relationship, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Kudos: 20





	Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Mentions of death

You’re just lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling of your room. Your worry is so strong you’re pretty sure the _Jedi Council_ can sense it from the other side of Coruscant, but then again, you have a valid reason. Turmoil has plagued many planets in the Outer Rim, and apparently there aren’t enough Jedi to handle it for you and your master to go together.

In other words, this was your first solo mission. And you sure as hell knew you weren’t ready.

The Force jerks you out of your thoughts, letting you sense Obi just outside your door.

“Come in,” you call out, knowing he wouldn’t come in without verbal confirmation from you, even though you two had known each other since you were five and he was eight.

Both padawans of Qui-Gon, you’d been with them on their journey when they met Anakin and took back Naboo. Your former Master had died right in front of your eyes, and you’d been helpless to save him. As close as you and Obi had been, you’d shut him out for a while after that. It had jolted you back into reality: everyone’s time is up eventually. Whether they like it or not.

It gave you a new fear. A fear of losing Obi.

You weren’t exactly sure when you’d fallen for Obi-Wan, but those feelings had always been there for as long as you could remember. From schoolhouse crush through teenage years, and even up until now. You were in love with him, and you had to face the fact every day.

You hear the door slide open but don’t sit up to acknowledge him, hearing him walk up to the foot of your bed and stop.

“You must leave now or else you’ll be late,” he tells you gently, only making you huff in frustration.

“Do you believe I’m not aware of that?” you quickly retort, biting your tongue to keep from going even further.

“You do know I fought this.” The fact that he had fought the Council’s decision only increases your worry instead of easing it, because he too knew that this was too dangerous a mission for you to go on by yourself.

“I’m familiar,” you tell him sharply and swiftly, sensing his concern for both your safety and your mental state.

“Just stay calm and everything will go smoothly.”

“Obi-Wan, I’m going to be on Jaemus while you’ll be walking the sands of Ryloth. We’ll be on opposite sides of the galaxy. I will be facing an opposition—a _strong_ opposition—with more artillery than I’ve ever seen even by your side on a mission. _Alone_. Tell me, Master, how I’m supposed to stay calm?”

“You always excelled in everything except for keeping your emotions under control.”

“I’ve gotten better,” you snap, suddenly sitting up from your bed and staring him down. He returns the gaze, not intimidated by your defensive behavior after spending more than half of his lifetime with you.

“I never said you hadn’t.” You relax your shoulders, letting out a shaky sigh. He raises his eyebrows, looking your figure up and down before closing his eyes, trying to sense what you’re thinking through the Force. You make no effort to raise any sort of mental walls, allowing him to read you in your raw form. “Are you afraid of… You’re afraid of facing death.” You laugh— _actually_ laugh—harder than you have in a while. He doesn’t seem to find it amusing, staring at you with an arched eyebrow like a _hawk_.

“I’ve faced death more times than I can count, Master. By your _side_.”

“Then are you afraid of it taking you?” The question should’ve made you think, but deep down, you know the answer.

“No. Death is natural and eventually curses all living things for eternity. There are some things I’d like to do before my time is up, but… No.”

“Such as?” _Such as loving you, Obi. Loving you out in the open with no Jedi codes to restrict us._ Your feelings try to break free from where you’ve buried them down for so long, but you know better than to unleash them. The hell it would cause would hurt more than all the pain you’d experienced in this lifetime.

You know how he feels, you really do. You were good at reading people, whether that be when the Force was with you or when it wasn’t. You always knew what was going on inside someone’s head, but Obi? You could practically hear his thoughts. There was only one thing you didn’t know about him: if he was aware that his feelings were reciprocated by you.

But would he really break the Jedi Code? Even for you? No Jedi is more devoted to the code than him, a fact that would make you angry at times. He’s lived his entire life abiding by the Code, and for him to break it just for you? One would laugh at the thought.

“Such as…” You want to tell him, you truly do. But you just don’t know what it’ll bring, and you’re not trying to get either of you suspended from the Order. That would mean losing Ani, and Qui-Gon believed in him. Obi had taken on the stress of teaching two padawans of _completely_ different ages, and you weren’t about to throw ten years worth of effort out the window.

“It doesn’t matter,” you dismiss, moving to the foot of the bed right in front of him. He sighs and sits down next to you, with his soft gaze awakening the butterflies in your stomach. His baby blues, freshly cut beard, and gentle face never ceased to make you even crazier for him; it was getting harder day by day to control your desire.

“But it does.” He slowly takes your hand into both of his, and you swear all you want to do is kiss him right then and there. _Attachment is forbidden by the code_ , your subconscious reminds you. You pull your lip in between your teeth at the six words you hated most, shaking your head and breaking the gaze with him.

“I wish you were coming with,” you mutter, once again feeling uneasy about the mission.

“Even though I won’t be by your side physically, I’ll still be with you.”

“Through the Force?” you ask almost mockingly, feeling suffocated by the stress and expectations placed upon you.

“Through the Force,” he tells you firmly, somehow getting rid of most of that stress and letting you _breathe_ again. It’s another reminder of one of the reasons why you fell in love with him: he could calm you down when nobody else could.

You look at him again, getting lost in those eyes so blue of his you could see the seas of Ach-To in them. You’re not sure how long passes, but you don’t mind. You could spend the rest of your life just staring at him.

Staring at the only thing in the galaxy you couldn’t have.

Someone clearing their throat breaks the stillness of the moment and you and Obi nearly jump apart, your heart hammering. Obi-Wan lets go of your hand, which you swiftly use to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“First they sent Obi-Wan, and now they’ve sent me. You’re getting late,” Anakin points out the obvious, leaning in your doorway.

“Why’d they send a nine year old?” you ask with a grin, knowing it always upset Anakin like a little kid whenever you’d reference him as his age at the first time of your meeting.

“For the _Council’s_ sake, I’m nineteen.”

“Get _on_ the Council first, and then you can talk for them.” Practically living for ten years with Anakin had only enhanced your wit. He frowns with a small pout and you laugh softly.

“I’ll see you off,” Obi-Wan announces, getting up from the bed and nodding to you before leaving the room. Anakin peeks out the doorway and then turns back to you, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, shut up,” you wave him away, massaging your forehead.

“I never said anything!”

“All of Coruscant knows what you’re going to say.”

“Are you going to tell him you love him or should I tell him for you?” The sly grin on his face makes you roll your eyes with a smile, glad that you and Anakin were this close. Siblings, practically.

“Ani, I told you to be quiet. You tell Padmé, and then you can argue with me.”

“I’m not in love with Padm—Senator Amidala!” he corrects himself, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“I never said you were. And tell that to Artoo,” you smirk, watching him go wide-eyed.

“What did you tell that droid?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“If you’ve put him up to something, I won’t spare you.”

“We shall see,” you smile, watching him point a finger before huffing and running out of the room to find his astromech, leaving you alone once again with your thoughts.

“I’ll tell you. Eventually.”


End file.
